The Road Less Traveled

               I grew up in my own little world. I played in the mud, swam like a fish, and wasn’t afraid of much. I had some tough times as a child but it never seemed to affect me much. I loved life. As I got older I had a lingering fear. It was always in the back of my mind but I never claimed that in could really be true.
               Fast forward to high school; I loved high school. I had great friends, which are still great friends. In high school some girlfriends all got together and made a list. A list of who would get married first and who would have kids first, etc. I remember making that list like it was yesterday. I knew I would be one of the first to get married… but the fear came spiraling through my mind like a bullet. 
My second year in college I met the most handsome, charming, Godly man. I asked him out on our first date. He came to eat breakfast with my family at our mountain home. It was the perfect date. We held hands and played in the rain. We walked and talked and quickly fell in LOVE. As we sat rocking on the porch overlooking the lake; my future husband asked me what my greatest fear was… It was hard to verbalize… but I did. I said, “My greatest fear is not being able to have children.” I, intern, asked him the same, He replied, “My biggest fear is not beginning in Gods will.” I knew he was going to be the man I’d married.
                Three years into our marriage we decided it was a good time to start trying to have kids. At first, it was fun and exciting. It quickly became, well… it became work. It was stressful. All my friends were getting pregnant and here was that fear… sitting on my shoulder shouting “I told you so”. After a year of trying we went to the Doctor. Right away, we had procedures and testing. LOTS of testing. We were finally told that the only way we could have a child of our own is through In-Vitro Fertilization. I was… well there are really no words. It was sad. I went through the stages of grief many times over the past two years. We started the IVF process in October of 2011. We did the first part in early December. It was painful and depressing. I then went through four months of physical therapy to help prepare my body for the second half of the IVF. In July on 2012, we had two beautiful embryos implanted. It was so exciting. It was going to work. I knew God had huge plans for our little family. All the thousands of dollars, countless sleepless nights, and a huge blue belly from all the shots, was going to pay off. I knew I was going to be a mama.

    
God had different plans (for now). The phone call came, and the test was negative. I sat in Ben’s lap in his church office and we cried. The pain was sharp like a knife. After a few weeks of grieving God spoke; He spoke clearly. God has prepared the road less traveled for Ben and I. 
We will push through the hurt. We will persevere through the pain. We will walk the narrow road. We will not give up. We will race on…
 He has called us to be the Hands and Feet. We are uniquely designed for this journey. We are ready to love God and love HIS people with all are might. I am proud to stand tall and say, We are taking the road less traveled on The World Race.